Edward Lai Kuanlin Announcing Shift to Behind-the-Scenes Work

Where should I start… I’ve imagined the arrival of this day, and it fills me with anticipation. I’ve also imagined this day never coming, and that fills me with fear. As the “Lv Zhi(Fandom Name)” read this letter, I’ve already discussed and reached an agreement with my agency to terminate our contract; I will officially begin my behind-the-scenes career. I’ve bid farewell to all my colleagues in front of the camera and informed them of my decision… They didn’t understand.

I am resolute. To this day, people take what has happened to me for granted. “He’s gotten through it before, he’ll get through it this time.” “This is nothing for him.” “He will definitely do well.” I know this is a form of affirmation, but it seems that my love for freedom can’t accept it. My heart is filled with helplessness and reluctance, but I don’t know how to express it. Because in my eyes, all of this is even more unfair to you. When I rebel, “Lv Zhi” gets criticized. When I don’t comply, “Lv Zhi” gets targeted. When I want to switch tracks, “Lv Zhi” seems to just have to accept it. As I write, I think: wow, we really have a comradery… I can write about such things so calmly now. Please believe me, I don’t feel good while writing this.

I even discussed with the staff about inviting you to Beijing for a face-to-face meeting. But I can’t… there isn’t much cash left in the studio’s account. I’m really sorry that I haven’t given you the chance to be “proud.” But rest assured, I’ve never “knelt” in private. As I’ve said before: “You have always been my confidence.”

This time, I want to choose this path. Maybe many people will still give me suggestions, but I am firm. Subjectively, I believe we are created to learn how to love. Love others, but more importantly, love ourselves. I’ve woken up countless times from dreams, walked to the bathroom, turned on the light, looked in the mirror… and didn’t love the person in the mirror. Standing at this point in time today, I feel that only by choosing to go behind the scenes will I truly cherish my past experiences.

We should all learn to look forward. The so-called starting point, debut group, debut work, etc., they represent a certain meaning. I believe what is more important is expressing oneself. Turning those words you want to say into lines, written on white paper. If one day, I succeed, I will sincerely invite you. I will invite you into the cinema to write the most objective review of my work. Until then, let’s return to ourselves and learn to love ourselves more. I will always love you.

Autumn will leave, autumn will come back. But it is not autumn now. If you are willing, let this letter rest in your mind.

One day, we will all understand.

Lai Kuanlin
2024/06

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