On January 1, 2025，Zhao Lusi posted a weibo post disclosing her health condition

On the afternoon of January 1, 2025, Zhao Lusi posted a Weibo post disclosing her health condition.

Here is the full translation from Zhao Lusi’s post:

This is my first and final response to all the recent events.

I sincerely apologize for taking up public resources.

Before this, I never let my illness affect my work or the people around me. I also admitted my own issues because I’ve always been tolerant. It’s only in the past half month that I’ve realized I’m not as magnanimous as I thought, so I bear responsibility too.

My profession has brought me much help and support, for which I am deeply grateful and fortunate. Therefore, I can understand being misunderstood.

Support choosing the desired career at any time. You always have the right to escape the struggles and exhaustion of your current situation. If you want to stop, you can stop anytime. You are free, and you can be brave.

I also understand that we all face grievances and injustices and have heard too many terrifying stories. If someone is silenced in the absence of help while the perpetrator becomes increasingly abusive, regardless of profession, age, or gender, I believe it is wrong. Forcing someone to reopen their wounds to prove they’re not “overthinking,” “too weak,” or “ungrateful” is absurd.

However, no matter the cause of trauma, only doctors have the right to judge its severity or whether it constitutes an illness.

I began experiencing depressive symptoms in 2019. I was told, “Don’t overthink it,” or, “Just be positive, and you’ll be fine.” I thought I was being dramatic and overly sensitive, so I didn’t take my mental health seriously.

In 2021, I started feeling like bugs were crawling on me, along with a stinging sensation and allergic reactions. Despite medication and injections from the hospital, the symptoms didn’t improve. I sought a psychologist to ease my emotional tension.

In 2023, I dealt with pneumonia, emphysema, pityriasis rosea, hives, night sweats, sudden awakenings, and nerve deafness, along with losing loved ones and receiving news of cancer diagnoses—all in a short time. These events overshadowed my emotions, causing me to continue ignoring my condition.

By 2024, I began experiencing frequent dry heaving, dizziness, joint pain, neck pain, and worsening allergies. At first, I thought they were normal side effects of allergy medication.

As a child, people said I was a worthless “flower vase.” During after-school tutoring, I was beaten in a teacher’s dormitory. I thought it was right to be punished for poor academic performance and didn’t dare speak up because “everything must be my fault.”

As an adult, I was beaten again and thought failing an audition was my fault. I didn’t cause a fuss; I just wanted to escape. I was used to handling my problems alone and never sought help from others. Later, as my work received recognition, I gained the confidence to say goodbye to those situations.

In the end, she only stopped her constant “crying, arguing, and threatening” after taking a large “breakup fee.” Rumors and slander inside and outside the industry followed. After countless “gossip” sessions, people would come to me to talk.

Each instance only deepened the pain and didn’t stop the harm done to me.

I understand I can’t have everything I want and can’t expect my friends, family, company, or anyone to be perfect. They haven’t hurt me and have tried their best to protect me—that’s more than enough.

I’ve never mentioned this illness before because I didn’t want my condition to be seen as so-called “hype.”

But since it’s come to this, I want to raise awareness:

Depression is an emotion. Depression disorder is an illness, and it can’t simply be resolved by “thinking positively” or “talking it out.”

I sincerely hope that those who share my experiences realize that whether others truly “understand” us is no longer important. The endless cycle of explaining ourselves while being unable to save ourselves must stop.

Understanding mental illness and prioritizing mental health treatment is truly important.

Regret is a useless emotion. “Take this as a special time to overturn the contradictions within and rebuild yourself.”

I am grateful for everyone who cares. Because of love, I’ve lived again.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and endless happiness!

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